Funny quote


   
          

             
                    




  Funny quote 

  •  Life is short while you still have teeth.
  • If a book about failure doesn’t sell, is it a success?
  • Knowledge is like underwear.it is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
  • The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits.
  • My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
  • My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  • I am not lazy. I am on energy saving mode.
  • My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.
  • If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.
  •  A child educated only at school is an uneducated child
  •  When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.
  •  A man in love is incomplete until he is married. Then he’s finished.
  •  Marriage….it’s not a word, it’s a sentence.
  •   A man falls in love through his eyes, a woman through her ears.
  •  light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I’m right.
  • Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
  • Money won’t buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries of a large research staff to study the problem.
  •  Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares?... He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes!
  •  He who laughs last didn’t get the joke.
  •  I finally realized that people are prisoners of their phones… that’s why it’s called a ‘cell’ phone.
  •  Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.
  •  If you see me talking to myself if means I’m self employed and we’re having a staff meeting.
  •  It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.
  •  I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.
  • Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate a lot of interest.
  •  The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do
  • Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control.
  • I’m not afraid of death; I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
  •  People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
  •  One advantage of talking to yourself is that you know at least somebody’s listening
  •  The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs.
  •  If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be.
  •  Fire and swords are slow engines of destruction, compared to the tongue of a gossip.
  •  A smile is an in expensive way to change your looks.
  • Many people lose their temper merely from seeing you keep yours.
  •  A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
  •  I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet.
  • You can cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.
  •  A laugh is a smile that bursts.
  •  If you dig a grave for others, you may fall onto itself.
  •  A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
  • If you reach for a star, you might not get one. But you won’t come up with a handful of mud either.
  •  If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in a bed with a mosquito.
  •  Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.
  •  Tension is a habit; relaxation is a habit. Bad habit can be broken, good habits formed.
  •  People often say that motivation doesn’t last well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.
  •  When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
  •  You want to be rich, but your values system says you believe in sleep more than grinding.
  •  You can practice shooting 8 hours a day, but if your technique is wrong, then all you become is very good at shooting the wrong way.
  •  Nothing in the world is ever completely wrong, even a stopped clock is right twice in a day.
  •  ………. I ask people if an elephant has ever bitten them, most of the time people say no. But everyone has been bitten by a mosquito.
  •  Asking is the beginning of receiving, make sure you don’t go to the ocean with a teaspoon. At least take a bucket so the kids won’t laugh at you.
  •  No one has ever become poor by giving.
  •  Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
  •  Three groups spend others people’s money: children, thieves, politicians. All of the three-need supervision.
  •  An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow, why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happened today.
  •  Build on what makes you different from your competitors …. You need to be red tree in the forest.
  •  A smile is a powerful weapon; you can even break ice with it.
  • The answer to life’s biggest question are not found on Google.
  •  Friendship is like a bank account; you not continue to draw on it without making deposits.
  •  Books say: she did this because. Life says; she did this. Books are where things are explained to you, life is where things aren’t. I’m not surprised some people prefer.
  •  In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.
  •  If the real world were a book, it would never find a publisher. Overlong, detailed to the point of distraction – and ultimately, without a major resolution.
  •  If you don’t know where you’re going, any road’ll take you there.
  •  Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.
  •  There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it.
  •  I’d rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.
  •  People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
  •  We must not allow people’s limited perceptions to define us.

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